Movie 43

MOVIE 43

Directors : Peter Farrelly, Elizabeth Banks, Steven Brill, Steve Carr, Rusty Cundieff, James Duffy, James Gunn, Griffin Dunne, Patrik Forsberg, Brett Ratner, Will Graham & Jonathan Van Tulleken

Year : :2013

Genre : Supposed Comedy

Rating : There isn't one low enough

''If you commit suicide after watching it, don't blame me'' - Alex Smith on 'Movie 43'

A month ago I wrote a review for 'Disaster Movie'  in which I proclaimed that it was the worst film I had ever seen. However, little did I know that less than 40 days later I would endure the garbage pile known as 'Movie 43', a hideously horrible movie that disgraces cinema and popular culture. 2013 has certainly produced some absolute tripe, but none are as bad as 'Movie 43'; actually no film ever created is as bad as this. Compared to this, anything made by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer is 'Citizen Kane' and their movies are bloody awful. As of May 11th 2013, 'Movie 43' is the worst film I have ever had to endure and I just hope I that I convince all who read this to never, ever watch it. Ever.

The film begins with two teenagers trying to get back at their younger brother for a prank on April Fool's Day. To do this, they search the internet for the most offensive and controversial videos around to fill his computer with viruses. As each new video is found, the film then cuts a dozen or so short sketches featuring some of the biggest names in Hollywood; Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Naomi Watts, Leiv Schrieber, Richard Gere, Halle Berry, Chloe Grace Moretz, Uma Thurman, Johnny Knoxville and Gerard Butler just to name a few. Each sketch is literally composed of stupidly immature, offensive and unbelievable material that shocks, appals and angers in equal measure. Coprophilia, sexual abuse, incest and beastiality are all on offer in this banquet of filth, hatred and evil and every single person involved in the making of 'Movie 43'; whether they be directors, producers, actors or stagehands should be completely and utterly ashamed of themselves.

The making of 'Movie 43' is almost as anger inducing as the actual material shown on screen itself. The film was in production for over a decade due to distribution companies wisely rejecting the script and the 'plot' but unfortunately, Relativity Media would eventually agree to make 'Movie 43' for $6 million. Getting funding proved difficult, but it would be nothing compared to actually convincing actors to appear in it.  George Clooney was due to cameo but he realised that he 'had laundry to do' and Colin Farrell said he couldn't appear in 'Movie 43' on the basis that he 'had important toenail clipping to do'. It would take director and helmsman of the film Peter Farrelly (who has never made a funny film in his life) 4 years to convince people to star in his 'vision'. In his own words, Farrelly said about the cast; ''They clearly wanted out! But we wouldn’t let them. The strategy was simple: wait for them. Shoot when they want to shoot. Guilt them to death.'' Sadly, while many actors just weren't going to debase and lower themselves for a small paycheck, dozens of others did. Sadly, Farrelly would have the last and only laugh. Clearly through filming, many actors were embarrassed by the material they were given and in many of the 'sketches' it is blatantly obvious that they didn't not want to be there. This makes 'Movie 43' that much worse and hate filled. All of the sketches in the movie are so immature, poorly written and so grossly misjudged that they seem to have been written by a bunch of 12 year old boys who find periods, misogyny, coprophilia and incest the funniest things on Earth. Due to it's sickening and offensive content, Relativity media did no promotion for 'Movie 43' at all. Neither did the cast. Wisely.

There is so much offensive material in 'Movie 43' that it is almost impossible to describe it all. Not only are there skits revolving around coprophilia, parental incest, a young girl enduring her first period and jokes about rape and disability, but there also is a rampant strain of misogyny that runs through the entire duration of the film. Apart from the scenes showing a female teenager in pain and embarrassment, a mother trying to have sex with her son and a woman wanting her boyfriend to defecate on her neck, there is an entire scene that takes misogyny as it's modus operandi. The sketch involves a media player producer who has created an MP3 player called an iBabe, an iPod ripoff that is shaped as a naked woman. The cooling fan for the iBabe is situated in it's vagina and the company is getting complaints from parents saying that their sons are trying to have intercourse with it and in the process, mangling their penises in the rotating fan. Seriously, that's the joke. The fact that the filmmakers find the debasement and 'rape' of a female shaped object (but for all intent and purposes) a female funny is an indictment of the entire film and they should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. Added to this scenes of female ogling, a woman being eaten by a shark and Halle Berry making guacamole with her bare breasts, 'Movie 43' is possibly the most misogynistic film ever made.

I have never felt such pure venom towards a motion picture in my life. 'Disaster Movie' angers me and will always anger me, 'The Lion King's popularity frustrates me beyond belief, but everything about 'Movie 43' actually offends ME. Yes, I am taking this personally. As a critic, I know that I have to watch everything but I did everything I could to avoid this. But I knew that they day would come when I would have to endure 'Movie 43' and now that I have, I now have an allergic reaction to the number 43. I will never live in a number 43 house, 43 will never be one of my lottery numbers. To be honest, I'm not even sure I want to reach the age of 43 at this point!

I really can't express in words how much I hate, hate, HATE this film. It is an embarrassing and evil piece of  s*** that should never have been greenlit and as a result, I will never watch another film by Peter Farrelly. I implore, no, beg you not to watch 'Movie 43'. Words cannot describe how horrible it really is and I just hope I develop short term amnesia so I can be free of it's imagery. Please God, free me from this pain.

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer : I FORGIVE YOU!