My Bottom 10 Films Of The Year So Far

MY BOTTOM 10 FILMS OF 

THE YEAR SO FAR

 

While going to the cinema hasn't been as much of a game of Russian roulette as it was last year, 2016 has still given us more than it's fair share of rotten garbage to sit through and endure. Comedies have failed to make us laugh, horrors have failed to scare us and 'Dirty Grandpa' made me want to blow my head off with a sawn-off shotgun. But before we scour our way tnrough the absolute worst chunks of recently regurgitated vomit, let's take a not so fond look back at the films which were indeed terrible, but not quite terrible enough to make the final cut:

'How To Be Single' - A desperate attempt to cash in on the recent trend of female-led comedys

'Point Break' - A completely redundant remake of one of the 90's most beloved action movies

'Dad's Army' - A noble yet feeble big screen reboot of the popular 1970's TV sitcom

'The Forest' - The hugely talented Natalie Dormer wanders around in this dreary psycho-horror
'Independence Day : Resurgence' : A loud and very dull follow up to the 1996 box office smash.

'Alvin & The Chipmunks : The Road Chip' - Only slightly less annoying than it's horrid predecessors

'London Has Fallen' - A fun yet admittedly stupid and at times ragingly xenophobic follow up to the less than brilliant 'Olympus Has Fallen'.

Now that we've entered the urine-stained toilet bowl, let's have a root around for some giant stacks of crap shall we? Without further ado, here are the 10 worst films of 2016 so far...

10) 'BATMAN v SUPERMAN : DAWN OF JUSTICE'
My full review:  http://dc-moviereviews.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/batman-v-superman-dawn-of-justice.html

Zack Snyder's eagerly awaited superhero mash-up 'Batman v Superman : Dawn Of Justice' was meant to be the triumphant prelude to DC Studio's own Cinematic Universe. Instead it is a stodgy, overlong and, at times utterly incoherent mess of a film that in its attempts to set up future "Justice League" outings fatally forgets to make a good stand alone movie in its own rights. Yes, Ben Affleck is great as Bruce Wayne/Batman and Jeremy Irons makes the most of his small role as Alfred. But thanks to an uncharismatic turn from Henry Cavill as the Man of Steel himself and a terrifyingly awful performance from Jesse Eisenberg as a twitchy Lex Luthor, 'Batman v Superman : Dawn Of Justice' may not be the worst movie of 2016 so far but it certainly stands as one of, if not the most disappointing.

 

9) 'THE HUNTSMAN : WINTER'S WAR'
My full review: http://dc-moviereviews.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/the-huntsman-winters-war.html#more 

Did anyone really ask for this? This dour sequel to the instantly forgettable 2013 fantasy 'Snow White & The Huntsman' cheekily leeches themes and ideas from 'The Chronicles Of Narnia' movies and Disney's smash hit 'Frozen' but fails to be half as interesting as either.

8) 'FIFTY SHADES OF BLACK'
My full review: http://dc-moviereviews.blogspot.co.uk/2016/03/fifty-shades-of-black.html#more

With 'Fifty Shades Of Black', writer and producer Marlon Wayans had one very simple task - to make fun of the incredibly overrated and offensively awful 'Fifty Shades Of Grey' phenomena. So the fact that Sam Taylor Johnson's 2015 film is (albeit unintentionally) funnier than this goes to prove just how poorly he failed that most simple of objectives. As is the case with any Wayans production, 'Fifty Shades Of Black' negates any sense of satire or parody and instead opts for the same fallbacks of toilet humour and overly sexual gags.

7) 'THE DIVERGENT SERIES : ALLEGIANT'
My full review: http://dc-moviereviews.blogspot.co.uk/2016/03/the-divergent-series-allegiant.html#more

This third and penultimate entry in this disparate YA franchise fails to improve or build on the vast improvements made by it's predecessor 'Insurgent' and reverts back to the same bland characterisations and overly CGI landscapes to make for one hell of a dull movie going experience. With 'The Hunger Games' having reached it's finale last Winter and 'The Maze Runner' series failing to be either critical or commercial successes, 'Allegiant' definitively shows us that the tired and uninspired young adult sub-genre should finally be put to sleep. And then smothered to death.

 

6) 'ZOOLANDER 2'
My full review: http://dc-moviereviews.blogspot.co.uk/2016/02/zoolander-2.html#more

You know that a movie is truly bad when not even a cameo from a cross-dressing Benedict Cumberbatch can raise a giggle. In this most uninspired of sequels, Ben Stiller returns as model idiot Derek Zoolander who must help Penelope Cruz's buxom Interpol agent solve the case of several 'blue steel' inspired selfie celebrity murders. Caring more about the cameos than the comedy, 'Zoolander 2' completely fails to live up to the legacy of it's highly quotable and very funny 2001 original.

5) 'NORM OF THE NORTH'
My full review: http://dc-moviereviews.blogspot.co.uk/2016/03/norm-of-north.html#more

Multi Razzie award winning 'comedian' Rob Schneider voices an animated twerking polar bear. Need I say more?

4) 'GODS OF EGYPT'
My full review: http://dc-moviereviews.blogspot.co.uk/2016/06/gods-of-egypt.html#more

Back in 1994, director Alex Proyas made 'The Crow'. It was an edgy, dark, violent and anarchic revenge thriller that through it's careful but effective use of beautiful noir cinematography and utter disregard for modern genre conventions became one of the true underrated gems of the early part of the 90's. Now in 2016, the same director has made 'Gods Of Egypt', a stupid, lackluster, overlong, stupid, boring and hilariously stupid fantasy romp that in it's uninspired use of rubbishy CGI and devout adherence to modern blockbuster conventions has become one of the worst and most importantly, stupidest films of the decade so far.

3) 'GRIMSBY'

Have you ever wanted to see Sacha Baron Cohen as a working class alcoholic football hooligan and Mark Strong as an MI6 agent hide inside the cavernous vagina of an elephant and then become covered in gallons upon gallons of frothy elephant semen? No, neither did I but I still had to see in 'Grimsby', one of the most repugnant and sickening movies of recent years.

2) 'MOTHER'S DAY' 
My full review: http://dc-moviereviews.blogspot.co.uk/2016/06/mothers-day.html#more

From the same man behind 'Valentines Day' and 'New Years Eve', 'Mother's Day' is yet another 'Love Actually' rip-off that sees many famous celebrities getting together to tell a set of hideous romantic subplots that all come together in a very convoluted and narratively implausible fashion. In the UK, 'Mother's Day' was confusingly released on the week of Father's Day but it would have been far more appropriate to release it around Halloween the film is easily the most horrifying of 2016 so far.  

1) 'DIRTY GRANDPA'
My full review : http://dc-moviereviews.blogspot.co.uk/2016/02/dirty-grandpa.html#more
 

'Mothers Day' may indeed be terrible but even that compares favourably to the trouser-wetting horrors of 'Dirty Grandpa', easily the worst movie of the year so far and one of the worst comedies I have ever seen. In a career obliterating turn, Robert De Niro stars as a widow who, with his bumbling grandson played by Zac Efron, embarks on a disgusting drug-fuelled trip around Miami in an attempt to regain his sexual youth. Back in the 1970's, De Niro was widely considered to be one of greatest actors of his age. Now in 2016, he is considered, mostly by me, to be an actor well past his sell by date - putrefying audiences expectations and countless cinemas with his consistently awful performances and downright embarrasing characterisations. Shame on him for agreeing to star in the movie, shame on the director Dan Mazer for making this piece of vomitous trash and, most importantly, shame on Hollywood for forcing living legends to make films like this in order to pay the bills. 'Dirty Grandpa' is not only the worst movie I have seen this year so far but it is, quite easily, one of the most harrowing, nerve-shattering and soul-destroying experiences I have ever faced in my near 25 years on this planet.