Grown Ups 2

GROWN UPS 2

Director : Dennis Dugan

Year : 2013

Genre : Comedy

Rating : *

 

Despite falling victim to a shedload of critical abuse, despite being nominated for several Razzies and despite it starring Adam Sandler, I was actually quite amused by 2010's  'Grown Ups'. Featuring an all star cast from some of the most annoying actors in Hollywood such as Chris Rock, Kevin James, David Spade as well as supporting roles for Steve Buscemi and Salma Hayek, 'Grown Ups' had all the ingredients to be an absolute plane crash of a film. However to my surprise, I rather enjoyed it. Sure it was stupid in parts and featured some hideously horrible set pieces revolving around toilet humour and various bodily functions, but for the most part I found it to be quite a heartening film that bought out the best in both Sandler and Kevin James. Hell, I even enjoyed the odious Rob Schneider, whose straight faced archetype was a good contrast to the anarchic and wild performances from Sandler, Rock, James and Spade. But as with every hugely successful film, an inevitable sequel will follow and 'Grown Ups 2' is not only the worst comedy of the Summer but is also the worst comedy of the year. Full of mind blowingly bad performances, grotesquely unfunny comedic set pieces and array of disgusting and nauseating sight gags, 'Grown Ups 2' is an example of filmmaking at it's absolute worst. The script is terrible, the acting is atrocious and character development is at ground level. The narrative makes about as much sense as an episode of 'The Only Way Is Essex' and the direction is god awful, making Michael Bay or Uwe Boll look like Michael Haneke.

Unlike the original 'Grown Ups', the sequel has no sense of plot or narrative. Basically the film revolves around Adam Sandler, Kevin James, David Spade and Chris Rock fooling around and trying to impress anyone they come across; whether it be old school bullies, a gang of annoying college students (led by the intergalactically bad Taylor Lautner) or even their own wives. Various characters are added in at random intervals to take part in an unfunny joke or two before they run out of the scene and out of the movie. Seriously, you will be hard pushed to find any atom of a plot in amongst this pile of putrid tripe; the direction is shambolic and the characters only serves as props to a badly timed joke or a rubbish CGI set piece. We are treated to scenes of David Spade being rolled down a hill in a giant tyre before vomiting like an orange volcano, a deer urinating on Adam Sandler and Salma Hayak and we are even (mis)treated to a scene where Kevin James actually falls on top of David Spade in such a way that Spade's head actually ends up inside James's anus. Added to this, a terrible running joke of 'burpsnarting', a very awkward way of sneezing, farting and burping in quick succession (yeah, it's that funny) and a completely overblown and pointless finale starring the most incredible movie star on the planet, Steve Austin! Yes, Steve Austin is in an Adam Sandler movie.

As well as directing this, Denis Dugan also helmed the original 'Grown Ups'  as well as making a huge majority of other Sandler movies  such as 'Happy Gilmore'. 'Big Daddy' and 'Jack & Jill'. Now, it might be unfair to say that Dugan is the antichrist of filmmaking and will probably suffer an eternity in Dante's Inferno for his contribution to modern cinema. And yeah, he probably will.. Of course, Sandler is main instigator and he is equally responsible for these cinematic autopsies, but I actually like him. Have you seen 'Punch Drunk Love'? If not, you have to because it is a fantastic film that not only features Sandler's best performance to date, but it is directed by the genius that is Paul Thomas Anderson. Given the right role, Adam Sandler can be a damn fine actor and it boils my blood to see him in such shoddy, unfunny headaches. To say that 'Grown Ups 2' is probably the worst Adam Sandler film yet is probably unfair because he has made some TERRIBLE films. But at least 'Happy Gilmore', 'You Don't Mess With The Zohan' and 'Jack & Jill' had a plot. Or at least a cohesive narrative. This has nothing, not a sausage.

I have nothing against gross out humour or even toilet gags. my favourite comedian of all time is Peter Cook and he said some disgusting things, believe me. But to be funny, a joke has to have a context so that the final punch line when delivered can have a meaning and a purpose; whether it be causing pain or embarrassment to a character or making a reference to the situation they are in. None of the jokes in 'Grown Ups 2' have a context. Not one. They are simply put on  the screen to make children and very easily impressed adults laugh before they gorge themselves on more stale popcorn. In the screening I was in, there was outbursts of uncontrollable laughter and literally drink being spit over the seats.... and this is from the adults in the audience. The kids enjoyed the slapstick, knock about stuff but it was the scatological gags and the profanity that made the older members of the audience guffaw so loudly. In the end I was asking myself, 'Is it me?'. I wasn't finding any of the jokes funny; in fact I was incredibly close to leaving the cinema. But all around me, nearly a hundred people were clapping, cheering and throwing things around the room in rapturous joy. What is going on? I came to the conclusion that since movies like 'Jack & Jill'. 'That's My Boy' and 'Good Luck Chuck', audience expectation has been severely lowered and now a simple fart gag or a scene of someone vomiting profusely will send someone into paroxysms of uncontrollable hysterics. Usually, that would make the average cinemagoer just sneer and feel disgusted, but now it forms the backbone of many so called family comedies. To me, this is a bad thing and needs to change. Before my screening of 'Grown Ups 2', I had seen the downright brilliant 'Alan Partridge : Alpha Papa' which was full of witty dialogue, scabrous quips and most importantly, a good heart. It was depressing me in my seat thinking that two screens down I could be re-watching the best comedy of Summer, rather than watching the worst comedy of the entire year and that people are subjecting themselves to such manipulative, lazy dross.

The cast are universally awful. The chemistry between the main quartet that made 'Grown Ups' an unexpected treat has completely evaporated and instead they are reduced to overgrown toddlers who enjoy the most immature of acts. Even the great Salma Hayak is lost in such a whirlpool of crap and the supporting cast are just as bad, including the usually brilliant Steve Buscemi. The moment I knew that this film had lost it's mind was when Taylor Lautner appeared on the screen. Now, if you are a regular reader of my blog, you will know that I am a 'Twilight' fan and I like all of the actors very much. Since the saga ended both Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson have gone on to prove their acting chops in films such as 'Cosmopolis', 'The Runaways'  and 'Water For Elephants'. In this movie, Lautner proves that he is nothing but a set of teeth and pectorals. Nothing else. He can't act for toffee and watching him trying to be funny is like watching a poor act at the Edinburgh festival. I cringed every time he appeared and his character is one of the most obnoxious prats I have ever seen on screen. In fact, the only reason Lautner seems to be in the film at all is to be eye candy for the young teenage girls who will be suckered into the movie thanks to the jolly trailer and viral marketing campaign.

Costing a staggering $80 million dollars, 'Grown Ups 2' is the biggest waste of money since Scotland spent tens of millions changing it's tourism catchphrase to 'VISIT SCOTLAND. Too long, unfunny and jaw dropping-ly bad, the film will feature in my bottom 10 of the year. No doubt. Adam Sandler needs to stop making comedies because he is a damn fine actor, Salma Hayak shouldn't even be in this movie and Steve Buscemi, you really should know better. Please don't see this film, please. You will resent yourself for it afterwards. I know I did.........still do.